I love my son, I love my son, I love my son...

Really, I do love my oldest son.  But there are times...

Take last night for example.  Tal and Shad have church club in the evening.  Kieran and Alric wanted to ride along with me to drop them off.  So, all 4 boys go with me to church, which in a strip mall.  We pull up and park 2 "stores" away from the church door.  Shad is chattering away to Tal, who gets out of the van and INTENTIONALLY slams the door shut in Shad's face, while he is still talking.  By the time I get out of the car to rebuke Tal, he has booked all the way down to the church door.  I have 2 kids still buckled in to seats that can't unbuckle themselves, so I yell "TAL!"  He doesn't stop.  I yell "TALIESIN NICHOLAS LARSEN!"  He stops and yells "WHAT?"  in the most disrespectful tone of voice ever.

"COME HERE!"

"WHY?"

"COME HERE NOW!"

"NO."

"NOW!!!"

"NO, I HAVE TO GO TO CLUB!!!!"

By this time I have managed to unbuckle 2 previously mentioned children and have arrived at Tal's location.

"Get in the car."

"NO!  I HAVE TO GO TO CLUB!!!!!"

"Get in the car or lose computer time tomorrow."

"DO I GET TO GO CLUB?!?  I HAVE TO GO TO CLUB!!!!!"

Shad gives up and goes inside.  Tal stomps to the car and gets in.  I am trying to decide if I should go in or if Shad will be ok if I don't say goodbye to him.  I decide he will be fine and head to the car.  At this point, I am still ok with talking to Tal and letting him go to club.  When I get to the car I  find the liner of Tal's shoe on the ground.  Tal is in the car flailing around.  He gets out as I approach the car.  I ask if he was throwing his shoes and he says no.  He then starts to freak out about how he has to go to club.  At this point I decide that he is going home.  I tell him to get back in, which he does, and start buckling the little one in.  I am about half way done with Alric when I realize that Tal is NOT in the car anymore.

Yep, he took off into the church.  Really?  REALLY???  So, I unbuckle Alric and tell Kieran we are going inside.  At this moment, they have chosen to be total and complete angels.  Maybe they see the smoke coming out of my ears?  We walk down into the club room and there is Tal, crying hysterically with the Youth Pastor.  Now, massive bonus points to Pastor Len here.  He has his hand on Tal's shoulder and is telling him that running away from Mom isn't the answer and that he needs to obey me.  I tell Tal to get in the car, NOW, and Pastor Len basically steers him out of the building.

We walk to the car, get in, and drive home without incident.  Tal is basically freaking out the whole way home.  I don't think I have ever been so deadly calm as I was on that drive.  We pull into the driveway and I tell him he is going straight to his room.  Which he actually does without one word of argument.

I know that this is the reality of a kid with an ASD.  I know that he will get out of control sometimes.   I know that as his mother part of my job is to stay calm in the face of the storm.  But sometimes it is really hard.  And sometimes it is really embarrassing.  And sometimes it really hurts.